Roy & Mimsy Go on a Date

November 17, 2017
by Staff Reports


Roy: Hi, Mimsy, you look really nice tonight. Love those pigtail holders.

Mimsy: You do too, Roy. So many boys in my junior class look so junky, what with their snuff in the their back pockets and all, but you look sleek.

Roy: Oh, that’s cause I don’t carry snuff or condoms to stretch out my Dockers.

Mimsy: This your car, Roy? It’s really rad.

Roy: Uh, it must just look that way in the street light. It’s actually blue.

Mimsy: Oh, Roy, you got such a great sense of humor. So…where we goin’ tonight?

Roy: I thought Luigi’s across the river. I eat there a lot and I think I can guarantee they’ll serve you some Long Island Tea if I slip them a little extra.

Mimsy: That sound’s great. I didn’t know Long Island had their own tea, but I can’t wait to try it.

Roy: You’ve got a great sense of humor too, Mims. You see that Saturday Night Live John Belushi sketch last week?

Mimsy: Uh, no. My mama doesn’t let me stay up that late on a Saturday night. She says it makes me sleepy in church.

Roy: Oh, right. Which church you go to?

Mimsy: Our Redeemer Lutheran over by the library.

Roy: Lutheran? You’re not German are you? You know we fought those bastards in a war not that long ago. Can’t stand Germans.

Mimsy: I don’t think so. I think we just go there cause we can walk if the car breaks down.

Roy: Right! So, what are your plans after you graduate, Mims?

Mimsy: Well, I had intended to go to Gadsden Tech and be a hairdresser…

Roy: Great choice! Did I mention I just love your pigtails?

Mimsy: Anyways, my cousin Felicia is going to UAH to be a nurse and she’s been really encouragin’ me to think about that for a career.

Roy: UAH? But that’s a four year school. Sorry, Mimsy, but no woman needs that much education. Y’all are lucky; you have us men to take care of you.

Mimsy: Oh, that’s so sweet, but my sociology class has been studying about the women’s suffrage movement here in the U.S. and England. It really makes you think about what a woman can accomplish if she sets her mind to it. Did you ever hear of Emmeline Pankhurst?

Roy: The only Emmeline I ever heard of was a cat my crazy neighbor had. Mimsy, I think you need to carefully consider God’s natural law. It says women are to stay home and serve their men.

Mimsy: But doesn’t the Bible say a woman is supposed to do good works, like being a nurse?

Roy: Maybe that Sharia bible some of those immigrants read, but I can guarantee you no man wants a wife with an education…or a brain.

Mimsy: What did you say, Roy?

Roy: Oh, brother, what a bimbo I picked this time. Okay, Mimsy, let’s head to the mall. It’s still early and I bet Patti’s Petites is still open. We should both be able to find something we like there…

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